Book Review: The Vixen Manual
July 17, 2009 —
Sick to death.
That’s you – sick to death of buying lingerie with no one in mind to see you wearing it. Sick of one-serving meals eaten alone. Sick of watching sappy movies by yourself, of not wearing make-up because who cares, of looking at an empty calendar filled with empty weekends.
Common sense tells you there are men “out there”, but you’d like to know where. Meanwhile, until you find one, you’re sick to death of being single.
But then along comes real, down-to-Earth wisdom from a surprising source: in the new book “The Vixen Manual” by Karrine Steffans (c.2009, Grand Central Publishing – $25.99 / $28.99 Canada – 250 pages), you’ll learn how to find a man, catch his eye, and keep his interest.
First of all, are you single or singular? The first word describes the state of not having a man in your life. The second one is the way you define yourself. Steffans says that you must remember to remain singular, even when you’re with someone.
And who might that “someone” be? Steffans says it should be someones, plural. Limiting yourself to one man in the early stages of dating is doing yourself a disservice. And don’t let anyone call you out for seeing multiple men; what you do with your dating life is nobody else’s business. You might even want to consider a younger man, but check IDs to be sure he’s as old as he claims to be.
Grandma had lots of advice and, as a single girl today, you should reach back and listen to her. In Granny’s day, women came with a dowry but Steffans says today’s single girl is her dowry. When you meet a man you think you might want to be with, have
something to offer. Men love strength, confidence, goals, and a woman who cares about herself. And they love when you make an effort to know them.
“Get into his head… before you get into his bed,” says Steffans. And with that, she presents tips on relationships inside the bedroom, too.
I had mixed feelings about this book. On one hand, author Karrine Steffans offers (mostly) sensible advice for single girls who complain that there are “no decent men out there.” Her pointers are useable, relatively simple, and quite empowering.
This is wonderful until you begin to notice that, on the other hand, Steffans often contradicts her own recommendations. For instance, she indicates that truth is essential in a relationship, then later advocates game-playing to keep a straying man guessing. She writes about how no woman should engage in casual sex, then includes several surprisingly graphic drawings depicting “adventurous” sexual positions. Part of “The Vixen Manual” is spent preaching virtue while another part avows that a “good girl” won’t keep a man around for long.
Overall, this book isn’t bad but - as with anything on this subject - you’ll want to winnow out the useful from the personally absurd. If you’re willing to do that and you’re not easily shocked, “The Vixen Manual” may soon have you hearing “Til death do you part.”
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