RSS
mj-ryan.com/
Headline RSS FeedBook Review: AdaptAbility
August 16, 2009 —
Three-forty-two a.m.
That’s when you woke up this morning, but what are you gonna do?
Every day, you deal with mandatory furloughs, bank accounts heading toward minus, homeowner woes, and high prices against low paychecks. So when it’s time to turn in for the night, you can’t shut your brain off, and you know you simply can not handle this any more. You’re done.
You didn’t ask for this stress, but you’ve got it. So why not get some help dealing with it? Pick up “AdaptAbility” by M.J. Ryan (c.2009, Broadway Books – $18.99 / $23.99 Canada – 227 pages), and get some smart advice about resilience.
Once upon a time, author M.J. Ryan had everything she wanted. She was the owner of an up-and-coming book publishing company with a bestseller on its roster. She was happily married and life was good. Then, one by one, everything fell away and Ryan was faced with change she didn’t see coming and didn’t want.
Between then and the time she built a flourishing new career as a consultant and coach, she says that she learned a lot about change and how to deal with it.
First of all, change is perhaps the only thing you can count on in life. Good or bad, nothing stays the same and it’s not “all about you”. When faced with monumental change, you’ll go through the classic stages of grief, but you also learn that you’re more resilient than you think you are. In fact, change is not your enemy, but fear is - and in the end, your “youness” is what pulls you through.
One of the first things you’ll do when change hits you – and it’s natural – is to worry yourself half to death. Ryan advises you to put the brakes on obsessing about everything all the time. Instead, give yourself 15 minutes a day to worry. Knock yourself out wringing your hands during that time, then accept what’s happened, stop “milling”, and move forward.
Still having trouble? Ryan says to find gratitude and look for good luck in your predicament. Try to see small gifts in your loss. Complain, but not forever. Get your Three C’s in place (Challenge, Control, and Commitment). Stop being stoic and ask for help. And understand that temporarily taking an undesirable opportunity to “get by” is okay and won’t last forever.
Been to the self-help section of your library or bookstore lately? So many of the books there are happy-happy Pollyanna-ish tomes that wind up being of little help. Then, along comes a book like “AdaptAbility”…
Author M.J. Ryan uses her own story and those of her clients to illustrate how changing a few mind-sets can help you deal with “change you didn’t ask for”. While some of the exercises seem simplistic and a few are downright goofy, even the most down-in-the-dumps reader can take a stab at the things that Ryan gently suggests doing to shake the badness that can come with unwelcome change.
If you’re drowning in worry, stop treading water and read this book. “AdaptAbility” may just be the lifeline you need.
Submit a comment on "Book Review: AdaptAbility"
Book Review: Damas, Dramas and Ana Ruiz
August 9, 2009 —
Once upon a time, your baby girl was a snuggly little sweetheart.
She was a charmer, that’s for sure, “helping” around the house and wanting to be exactly like Mami. She knew how to get what she wanted from her Papi, too. No matter how big she got, she’d always be your little girl.
And then came the day she transformed. Sullenness was sudden. You were lucky to get fifteen words from her in a 48-hour period. In her eyes, you went from hero to zero, a bubbly font of knowledge to a bumbling fool.
Ana Ruiz can sympathize. Her daughter, Carmen, is about to turn fifteen, and in the new book “Damas, Dramas, and Ana Ruiz” by Belinda Acosta, (c.2009, Grand Central Publishing – $13.99 / $15.50 Canada – 336 pages) things at the Ruiz casa are about to explode.
Where did the time go? More importantly, where did her marriage go? Ana Ruiz hurts with those questions. It seemed like yesterday that she was falling in love with Esteban, his dark curls, his gentle demeanor.
But that was two children and a lifetime ago, and now Esteban has moved out. Marcos, Ana’s brother, says Esteban felt as if Ana didn’t “need him” because she had a good education and a job at the college. He didn’t feel like un hombre anymore.
Ana just wished he’d come home – if not for her sake, then for the kids. Seventeen-year-old Diego, a quiet and introspective boy, was ready to get his driver’s license and he had a mad crush on his best friend’s sister. He needed his father as a young man does.
But fourteen-year-old Carmen was taking Esteban’s absence the hardest. Carmen was a Daddy’s Girl and she blamed her mother for her father’s departure. When she spoke to Ana, it was cargado with attitude, which made for a todo chilly household.
Thinking she might pull her daughter closer, Ana decided that Carmen needed a quinceañera. With the help of her sobrina, Bianca, Ana gently pushed Carmen to pick a dress, a court, and a theme. But Daddy’s Girl dug in her heels, acting todo chiflada, begging Esteban to come home.
Which is what Ana wanted, too – or did she? It had been a long time since she had been admired by a man, and the smolderingly-actractivo artist-in-resident at the college was muy tempting.
Told from the point-of-view of a narrator with a flair for gossip, “Damas, Dramas, and Ana Ruiz” is one of those really delightful books that you want to read slowly, to savor the flair and the people in it. Author Belinda Acosta captures this dramatico event in a family’s life, and both Ana and Carmen are perfectly-written examples of typical mother-daughter conflict. Anyone who has a teen girl should read this book, as should any single or almost-single mom.
Be aware that you’ll want at least a small familiarity of Spanish (or at least have a Spanish dictionary handy) to fully enjoy this book. For you – and for anyone who wants a great end-of-summer read - “Damas, Dramas, and Ana Ruiz” is really quite excelente.
2 Comments on "Book Review: Damas, Dramas and Ana Ruiz"
Jamuna K — August 10, 2009
I liked the book review. I feel this book is really an explanation to relations and the importance. Keep it up Belinda Acosta. Gud day.
Ana Manrique — August 10, 2009
This is a great review! I've read this book a few times and feel as though this review shows what the book is all about...relationships. A must read! ~Ana Manrique (Ask Ana) Check out www.uniquelyquince.com for everything quince!
Submit and read more comments on "Book Review: Damas, Dramas and Ana Ruiz" now!
Book Review: The Vixen Manual
July 17, 2009 —
Sick to death.
That’s you – sick to death of buying lingerie with no one in mind to see you wearing it. Sick of one-serving meals eaten alone. Sick of watching sappy movies by yourself, of not wearing make-up because who cares, of looking at an empty calendar filled with empty weekends.
Common sense tells you there are men “out there”, but you’d like to know where. Meanwhile, until you find one, you’re sick to death of being single.
But then along comes real, down-to-Earth wisdom from a surprising source: in the new book “The Vixen Manual” by Karrine Steffans (c.2009, Grand Central Publishing – $25.99 / $28.99 Canada – 250 pages), you’ll learn how to find a man, catch his eye, and keep his interest.
First of all, are you single or singular? The first word describes the state of not having a man in your life. The second one is the way you define yourself. Steffans says that you must remember to remain singular, even when you’re with someone.
And who might that “someone” be? Steffans says it should be someones, plural. Limiting yourself to one man in the early stages of dating is doing yourself a disservice. And don’t let anyone call you out for seeing multiple men; what you do with your dating life is nobody else’s business. You might even want to consider a younger man, but check IDs to be sure he’s as old as he claims to be.
Grandma had lots of advice and, as a single girl today, you should reach back and listen to her. In Granny’s day, women came with a dowry but Steffans says today’s single girl is her dowry. When you meet a man you think you might want to be with, have
something to offer. Men love strength, confidence, goals, and a woman who cares about herself. And they love when you make an effort to know them.
“Get into his head… before you get into his bed,” says Steffans. And with that, she presents tips on relationships inside the bedroom, too.
I had mixed feelings about this book. On one hand, author Karrine Steffans offers (mostly) sensible advice for single girls who complain that there are “no decent men out there.” Her pointers are useable, relatively simple, and quite empowering.
This is wonderful until you begin to notice that, on the other hand, Steffans often contradicts her own recommendations. For instance, she indicates that truth is essential in a relationship, then later advocates game-playing to keep a straying man guessing. She writes about how no woman should engage in casual sex, then includes several surprisingly graphic drawings depicting “adventurous” sexual positions. Part of “The Vixen Manual” is spent preaching virtue while another part avows that a “good girl” won’t keep a man around for long.
Overall, this book isn’t bad but - as with anything on this subject - you’ll want to winnow out the useful from the personally absurd. If you’re willing to do that and you’re not easily shocked, “The Vixen Manual” may soon have you hearing “Til death do you part.”
2 Comments on "Book Review: The Vixen Manual"
t-t — July 17, 2009
i loved the book! im so surprised at how she's become so conservative and humble instead of saying that its okay to be promiscuous like a lot of promiscuous women are, theyre very unrepentant. i like that shes changed for the better. i respect u karrine for your honesty
Bravo626 — August 13, 2009
I haven't even read the book yet and I already have a counter-play for everything in it...
Submit and read more comments on "Book Review: The Vixen Manual" now!
Book Review: Magnificent Desolation
July 3, 2009 —
Imagine that you went to work one day and changed the world.
Becoming a celebrity, you knew, was inevitable but you didn’t fully anticipate the extent: parades, TV appearances, crowds of fans intent on touching your sleeve. Meals interrupted by paparazzi. Privacy and quiet, a memory.
And while your family wasn’t exactly thrilled with this attention and it got pretty tiresome, one thing bothered you more than anything. It was a question you couldn’t stop asking yourself.
What do I do next?
In the new book “Magnificent Desolation” by Buzz Aldrin (with Ken Abraham) (c.2009, Harmony Books – $27.00 / $33.00 Canada – 326 pages, includes index), you’ll read an account of the first historic moon landing and its effect on the life of the second man on the moon.
Forty years ago this July, much of the entire world was mesmerized by what they saw on TV. From a short ladder attached to a spider-like capsule, two men, one after the other, stepped onto the moon. Neil Armstrong, because he was closer to the door, was first to set foot on the lunar surface. Buzz Aldrin, who outranked Armstrong but sat farthest from the module’s opening, went next.
This was, Aldrin remembers, a very scientific journey. Though their mission was to collect specimens from the moon’s surface, Aldrin says he wanted to experiment further but frivolity wasn’t the reason for being in space. That lack of opportunity bothered him for many years to come.
The moonwalk made Aldrin, Armstrong and fellow astronaut Michael Collins instantly, wildly famous. After a month-long quarantine, the three were whisked away for celebratory parades, meetings with heads of state, and visits abroad. The frenzy appears, in this book, to have boggled Aldrin’s mind.
But once the adoration died down, Aldrin began to ask himself, “What next?” NASA “pretty much closed the door…” and a job at the USAF Test Pilot School didn’t work out. His small salary from the government wasn’t enough to live on and Aldrin “dabbled” with inventions based on his space walk. Soon, he fell into a deep depression and began drinking. His first wife left him and a second marriage didn’t last long.
Finally, with the help of friends and the “love of [my] life”, Aldrin pulled himself out of the black space he’d fallen into.
For millions of kids and former kids, being an astronaut always sounds so exciting. But before you run out and get fitted for a flight suit, read this eye-opening book first.
Author Buzz Aldrin doesn’t brag about his place in history, but he has a few complaints about it. He’s open about his past and his problems, and he takes responsibility. He discusses his efforts for space tourism and more exploratory ideas for the future of NASA. And he bluntly (and quite angrily) addresses conspiracy theorists who think the whole moon landing was a sham.
If you, too, were glued to the TV on that night forty years ago, or if you always wanted to do a real moonwalk, read this book. For historians and astronaut wannabe’s, “Magnificent Desolation” is out of this world.
Submit a comment on "Book Review: Magnificent Desolation"
Next
